The Myth about Law School

Look - no matter what anyone says, the only thing you can do with a law degree is be a lawyer! Law school is vo-tech school for smart kids - trade school with good PR. The vast majority of law students are just like I was - college grads with good grades, good test scores and essentially NO experience (professional, real-life, or otherwise).
I was history major, and let's face it, the historian's job prospects are limited at best (non-existent at worst). It's kind of the default major for people who realize they write a good essay but are too lazy to read all the books required of an English major. (Not that there's a whole host of career opportunities for the Englishian either-- English equivalent of "historian"...There's not even a word for it; it's like a tacit admission of the uselessness before you even begin!)
And so I did the logical thing (???) -- put off joining the "real world" for another 3 years by going to law school! This decision was met by much approval from my friends and family, because (even though I knew from the outset that I was unsure about being a lawyer) "You can do ANYTHING with a law degree." That's a big lie! The only thing you can do with a law degree is be a lawyer...and a bad one at first at that because while your law professors are busy not-preparing you for any career other than law, they're also busy not-preparing you to be a lawyer...because they don't teach you ANY of the things you need to know to actually practice law (like what an Entry of Appearance is, for example).
So my words of wisdom for all those college seniors contemplating the three year procrastination of a job search called Law School...Don't do it! Well, don't do it unless you're absolutely certain you want to be a lawyer, because there really isn't anything else you can do with a law degree.
Oh yeah - and if you have based your desire to be a lawyer upon television (even just a little bit), you better reconsider...get a job in a law firm and see what they REALLY do everyday. There's no hot woman with a button-down shirt open just enough to let you imagine it unbuttoned all the way and a skirt that hits so far above the knee that it's more accurate to describe its distance from her ass. No hot single men who are intellectual and sensitive enough to want save the world pro bono between motorcycle trips to Baja on weekends. These characters simply do not exist! Instead you'll find a bunch of pasty, doughy cynics who haven't been to the gym in 4 years (despite the continued donation in the form of monthly fees, because they like to know they could go if they so chose...but they're just way too busy!) and who haven't taken the full three weeks of vacation they get each year EVER (and never will...which is why law firms continue to offer this illusory benefit that will never be collected upon).
Overweight, overtired, and over-stressed...that pretty much sums it up!
And the money's not what people think it is either!

You know your kid's a nerd when...

You spend Superbowl Sunday at a Pokemon card battle tournament and find yourself the next day a card carrying member of the Pokemon Tournament League...and a proud owner of your own "deck" of Pokemon cards...
It's all over for me!

Public school is not neglect or abuse!

When our oldest son was starting kindergarten, Paul and I fell victim to the private school rhetoric which would have you believe that sending your kid to a public school is tantamount to stringing him up in the town square to have rocks thrown at him on a daily basis. The scare tactics were not in short supply, and ultimately we "decided" that the only option was to send him to a specialized school geared specifically for his type of "gifts."
But then we moved...and I stopped working, and I was driving half way across town to get to this "special" school where not a single kid from our neighborhood went, and for the privilege of which we were paying thousands of dollars in tuition.
So, when our neighbor called us to let us know about the application deadline for the public school in our new area, with trepidation (and a strong sense of guilt), we reluctantly applied.
But then a wonderful thing happened - despite the large class size and low teacher to child ratio and the fact that the school is LITERALLY across the street from a crack house, our son continued to thrive. Contrary to all the studies to which those private school folks pay homage, our kids have actually learned to read and write and even do that goddamn lattice method of long multiplication in public school...
And they only get beat up, offered drugs or propositioned every once in while!

The trouble with math today...

Is it just me, or does every parent wonder what the hell they're teaching kids today in math class. What was wrong with borrowing and carrying? Now it's all about the place value and "regrouping." Do we really need 27 different "methods" to add, subtract, multiply and divide? Call me old fashioned, but I'm a firm believer in the old "if it ain't broke don't fix it" adage. My third grader recently learned the "lattice method" of multiplication. Let me just give you a sample: 56 x 39.
OLD WAY -
56
x 39
---------
504
1680
------------
2184
Yes, I had to carry the 5 from 9x6 and the 1 from 3x8 and then add, but it's really a pretty simple operation, right?
And now for the lattice method

5 6

		1 5	1 8
1	1	4 5	5 4
2	1	8	4

3

9

WTF???? I need to regroup myself after all that.

No Small Children were Injured in the Creation of this Blog

OK, well maybe they were brushed off, ignored or mildly neglected from time to time, but nothing that they'll recount to a therapist in 20 years or anything. They're not allowed to read this one - I've set up a couple of other moderately more "kid friendly" blogs in case they ask to read it someday...which they will because they're that kind of inquisitive (read - nosy) people.