Monday, June 14, 2010

Monday Morning Morals Questions - Do key parties and swinging shock the conscience of anyone other than me???

John Cuneo, Esquire Magazine
Apparently the 60s have made their way back to Denver with a vengeance, because I keep hearing that key parties and swinging are all the rage...and let me tell you, I am SHOCKED!!!

Here's how Wikipedia (my go-to source on all topics) defines swinging:

Swinging or partner swapping (sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle or simply the lifestyle) is a non-monogamous behavior, in which partners in a committed relationship agree, as a couple, for both partners to engage in sexual activities with other people. As a subculture, the swinging couple regard their sexual activities with other people as a social activity in which they engage as a couple.

Let's ignore the unneeded comma after behavior and get to the point - people are having parties where they go hoping, expecting, knowing that they and their spouses will be having sex with someone else -- AT THE PARTY!  Ick!!

And this is just fine?  This is normal?  What. The. F*%$????


I always thought I lived in this real "Leave It to Beaver" kind of subdivision with white picket fences and neighbors who bake cookies for the new baby next door (which happens all the time and leads to over crowded neighborhood schools and tennis courts on the streets, but that's a different story.)   

Let me show you some examples:


  I don't know who lives here, but they have a cute red door and the white picket fence I was talking about.
 This is my friend Melissa's house.  It's for sale...this progressive new Denver lifestyle/culture was more than she could take!

Do these look like the kinds of places where spouses are playing sex games which include some people who live there and others who don't? 

What would June Cleaver say?

I know what she'd say.  She'd say: What. The. F*$%...just like me!  What do you say?

PLEASE, JUDGE ME!

7 comments:

  1. FRIGGIN HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!

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  2. Quit being so old fashioned and give it a try.

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  3. Oh and I meant to say, sounds like a "sub"urban myth to me.

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  4. Isn't it 'Behind the Green Door', the porno flick? Red door doesn't count.

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  5. Melissa - that you know that really does scare me!!!

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  6. Just found your blog! It is bad enough when they bring back the fashions of the 60s, 70s and 80s, let alone some of the ummm habits...

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  7. I do not think I should give any advice, given what I did this morning. (to the readers: no, it doesn't have to do w sex. Just with neighbors)

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