Sunday, June 6, 2010

The Psychology of Toe Nail Polish

Anyone who's ever walked into a nail salon knows that there are literally HUNDREDS of different colors to choose from for your toes.  There are reds, pinks, purples, browns, pearls, blues, whites, and blacks.  Within every group there's at least a dozen subcategories marking very subtle distinctions in mood.  Like the distinction between "We'll Always Have Paris"

and "Midnight in Moscow"

Seriously, go to and "try on" the different colors...I swear there are several shades whose differences are not visible to the naked eye.

Anyway, there is a point here...and the point is this...

Ladies, the color you choose for your toes says a lot about you as a be sure that the message you are sending is the one you want to send!

There are women who always choose the pinks or corals.  Hot pink, fuchsia, lavender, rose, cherry.  Every single one of these says:   "COME TALK TO ME!  I'M FUN!"

You might catch one of the gals going a little naughty with something like "I Don't Do Dishes,"

or more demure with "Soiree Mauve."

But you'll never see them them trampin around with Lindsay Lohen in Vendetta by Chanel!

But don't worry Chatty Cathys - Essie's catering you with their summer line which boasts colors like "Knockout Pout" and "Haute as Hello."  These "flirty" colors say "Yes I can be this cute and listen to you at the same time!"

To me they say: "Go away - you're too chipper!"

Perhaps to distinguish themselves from the sorority girls over at Essie, or perhaps because they're sellouts and don't care about making beautiful products anymore, OPI has come out with it's own summer line...the Shrek Collection.  (Huh?)  This line sports names like "What's with the Cattitude" and "Rumple's Wiggin."

But let me be clear here - if you're an adult wearing one of those greens, you need to understand that the message you're sending to the world is "I don't care that it looks like someone just puked all over my feet."

For me, I always choose the dark brown-red groupings...My go-to shades are Suzi Says Da!

and Lincoln Park After Dark

Yes - even in the summer!

And what do my toes say about me?  They say: "I don't like people."  It's not that I actually don't like people, I just don't want people thinking they can come up to me and start talking about their mother's gallstones and whatnot.  Save those conversations for Bridget with her "tell me about your cousin's daughter's wedding" toes!

These aren't Bridget's real toes...I used a toe-double,  She's married so she wears her ring on the left foot.

Then there's Zoya.  They use girls' names for their polish.  And let me tell you something, they got it all wrong with this one!  This is the color they call "Lo":

In Zoya-land I think I'm changing my name to Sam:

or Nina:

because Lo just doesn't suit me at all!

Nail polish Pictures, Images and Photos

What do your toes say about you???


  1. you sure do know your nail polish lady!

  2. Mine say 'I'm approachable' but they lie. Underneath it all I wear metaphorical black made up on ground up charred human bones, redolent of 'do I look like a fucking people person?'


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