Please be advised that much of the below is written in my special sarcasm font!!
I don't know if you have seen this, but there's a big media frenzy around the immigration status of Nick Jr.'s Dora the Explorer. She's that cute little Hispanic girl who vamanos-es around the jungle with her friend Boots the Monkey teaching good morals, polite behavior, and a little bit of Spanish.
OH, but how did she get here to teach these nefarious lessons to our impressionable young citizens, you ask?
That, my friends, is a very important question. One that any law abiding citizen should be very curious about. One that we righteous Americas must DEMAND an answer to, because, lord knows, our children have the right to know that their favorite cartoon characters are who they say they are. If Dora is out there purporting to be a role model under false pretenses - all the while having jumped the fence and swam the river without a valid visa for entry, well that is JUST WRONG!
And Nick Jr.'s "official response" to this ever important query? No. Freakin. Comment.
The American people deserve an answer, Nick Jr. You can't expect us to be satisfied with this ambiguous, unclear status. At this point, that NO COMMENT can only be read to mean that she's an "illegal" and that means that Dora is out there taking jobs from American citizen cartoon characters who could just as easily teach morality and jump around being cute with a monkey friend.
I say we boycott! Until Nick Jr. comes forward with a valid birth certificate of green card or something, I think we definitely need to boycott. We can have a big censorship party and make sure all those Dora books and games and toys and especially the shows themselves disappear off the shelves and the airways.
Nick Jr. - you should be ashamed of yourself!
I am pretty sure I saw her at the FIRC. Case closed.
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