Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Real Conversations With My Imaginary Dietary Consultant (IDC)

IDC: You know, you really shouldn't eat those Reese's Peanut Butter Cups the kids got for Easter.
Me: Oh, they're just the small ones. It's not a big deal.
IDC: So how many small ones does it take to make a full-size one?
Me: Oh, Jesus, I have no idea.  Probably like - 12??
IDC: Mmmm, I'd guess more like 2 or 3.
Me: No way.  It takes at least 5 to make a full size.
IDC: Let's just assume it's 4.
Me: Whatever.  4.  What's your point?
IDC: There's like 10 wrappers in the trash, so basically you've eaten more than a full pack by now.
Me: Well, not of the Walgreens/movie theater 4 packs.  That's like barely more than half, and that's using your crazy math of only 4 smalls = 1 large and everyone knows that there's at least 8 smalls in one big.
IDC: Really, there's only so much I can do here...
For the record, there were not more than 5 wrappers in the trash.  Frickin' exaggerating IDC!


  1. you are disturbed, but in a good way.

  2. what does the IDC look like? Is he tall, lithe and gay and likely on Bravo?

  3. All of my imaginary friends are tall, thin, neat gay men.


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