Friday, April 16, 2010

Hot Chick-a-Latte...yeah, it's a real place!

I should start this post by saying that I am pretty sure I am the ONLY female customer this place has had in all 5 days of being in business, and it's pretty safe to say that I am the only one they will have in all 100 days of business before they shut their doors...or maybe they won't? 

PLEASE CLICK ON PHOTOS FOR A MUCH BETTER VIEW!

Apparently taking hiring cues from the folks at Hooters, Hot Chick-a-Latte is the newest innovation in coffee since the cardboard anti-burn sleeve.  And it has hit the streets of Denver with a boob...I mean, boom!
I guess this is a chain that started somewhere in the Northwest - perhaps people had gotten bored of the standard Seattle roast and were looking for something a little -- perkier -- to wake them up in the morning.
Hot Chick-a-Latte opened this Tuesday in Denver in an old Der Wienerschnitzel A Frame on Colfax at Dexter. It's no accident that this place used to be a wiener shop, either, lest you missed the pun.
As you can see, they've done some major renovations to the staff...I mean, the building, by painting part of the roof hot pink.  Why only part, you ask? Your guess is as good as mine. Actually the other side doesn't have any pink at all, which is really a bummer because the hot pink is so much more appealing to the "Average Joe" Joe-drinker than red.  But I think we can all agree, this is not a place that's worried about external appearances...it's really just about the coffee!
When I drove by a couple of days ago the Hot Chicks were out in hot pink bikinis hocking their wares...I mean, coffee...Today, however, it was a little chilly, so you can see that they really needed to cover up a bit more.  This is their cold-weather garb:
 





Now, as much as I'd like to make fun of this place, I really can't.  The girls were really sweet and funny and thought it was great that I was there to take photos for my blog.  They didn't take themselves too seriously and they thought it was "cute" that I (an old lady, from where they sit) got a kick out of the place.
I ordered a C-cup non-fat latte which ran me $3.27.  C-cup is the second to the smallest size.  They have B, C, D & DD -- don't even waste their time fooling around with the As.  My latte was fine...not great, not terrible, but it was almost as hot as the chick serving it, so it was all right.



  And they're not only stimulating the...body...but also the mind.  Their "daily question" is really designed to make you think.  It's a bit hard to read with the glare on the window, but today's inquiry was this:

Would you rather
A: Have a permanent smile
     or
B: A permanent erection???

I mean, grammatical issues aside, this is really the stuff that's gonna change the world, don't ya think?





I'd like to take this opportunity, however, to inform you about the "clientele" that visits Hot Chick.  Yep, you guessed it, lecherous old men with their mouths agape and eyes never quite making it to the Barista's faces.  I couldn't convince a-one to let me take his picture for my blog. But this ought to give you an idea:
Of course, without the charisma of Bill...so maybe this gives you a better idea:

Sorry Grandpa - I couldn't resist!



16 comments:

  1. I second second second!!! I love your writing Lo! And please Lo and Lex Loci Lori, I think I need some tipsters on implanting snarky photos within my blog! So excellent!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Funny stuff... really stupid idea for a coffee place though. Why not just serve some really good coffee? No need for the "hot chicks"...

    ReplyDelete
  3. BigJohn - who are you kidding - I saw you there.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Actually, I'm a female customer and I've seen several women come and go. This is not a dumb idea. What can one say, sex sells and their coffee is amazing! Better than shit-tastic starbucks. The man before who said they don't care about their coffee has obviously never been and doesn't know what he is talking about. Not only were the girls beautiful, but they're all bubbling with personality and spunk. It's very entertaining and I truly believe this place isn't going to be going anywhere for a long time. I live close in the neighborhood and drive by every morning on my way to work. I actually even brought my husband by and we will for sure be getting our "Morning Wood" here. LOOVVVE IT!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOL... Sounds like you need to get out more Stay At Home Lawyer. Maybe try getting a degree in Marketing because I haven't seen to many advertisements with unattractive people in them lately. This isn't 1910, it is 2010. While you sit home and bash a great business about how they are going to go out of business in a 100 days you should probably try researching how to increase the traffic to your blog. I am lucky number 130!!! I bet your blog isn't paying the bills. Not only does Hot Chick A Latte have a great business model that is creating quite the buzz around town but they are the only one's who serve white coffee. Their white coffee is by far the best coffee in town. The waitress are very friendly to both the men and women who have attended the shop with me. Everyone (men and women) have enjoyed the experience of this coffee shop as well as the coffee. Keep up the good work Hot Chick A Latte!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. When you where posting pictures online you forgot one thing, and that my dear was to post a picture of your self.. If you aren't buck teeth and overweight you might be entitled to an opinion but my dear you probably are just another sexless female who is incapable of speaking her mind in public and has to harass young attractive females behind the anonymity of the internet.

    I hope for the sake of your career you come up with better arguments then this in the courtroom because you aren't convincing anyone of anything except for the fact that your just another jealous, sexless female praying for the attention of any man.

    ReplyDelete
  7. OK - so "anonymous" seems to think I have it out for Hot Chick-a-Latte - which I don't. I'm wondering if she read my review or maybe she just stopped after the tongue-in-cheek comments in italics at the top in which I suggest that I am the only female customer they've had. What gives "anonymous"? Got stock in Hot Chick-a-Latte or something?? Lest you forget - while I wanted to bash it - I simply couldn't because it was fun and funny and I enjoyed it. I will not retract anything about the male customers who refused to be photographed for my blog. I promise you there was no exaggeration there - it was a bit gross! My latte was not the best I've ever had, but it was reasonably priced and the staff was friendly. It was fine. It's no mystery that you're paying for the experience and not cup, but I'm totally fine with that. You won't hear me rave about the $8 burger at a Nuggets game, but I will likely get one the next time I'm there.
    I don't even know what white coffee is, but you can be sure I'm heading over the Hot Chick to find out!
    As for the photo of myself...it's right there next to my profile summary. I suppose I should have asked the girls to take one of me for my post, but to be fair they had done plenty for me just by talking to me about the place and being in my pics.
    Seriously - why so defensive???

    ReplyDelete
  8. It isn't about being defensive its about your derogatory comments about a place you "wanted to bash it" why? Is it because of some insecurity you have inside which makes you offended by places like this? Obviously you aren't jealous that a few "lecherous old men" are googlie eyed over some young sexy "chicks"... why do females like you always make assumptions that only lecherous old men visit these places? I'd venture to bet there are more young men that go there to google over the hot girls then lecherous old men..

    Maybe when I'm there next you can take my picture, but please don't touch me, I get tired of old women trying to touch my goods..

    ReplyDelete
  9. Well A - I'm glad to see you have a sense of humor. You're funny when you're not all bitter! I promise not to touch your goods, but you might need to tell me what the hell a White Coffee is. I hate not knowing stuff!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am not anonymous from above but this is what Wikipedia says:

    In the United States, white coffee may also refer to coffee beans which have been roasted to the yellow roast level and when prepared as espresso produces a thin yellow brew. American white coffee is very highly caffeinated, being only lightly roasted. It is the length of the roasting process, producing successively darker color, which removes the caffeine from the coffee beans. White coffee is generally used only for making espresso drinks, not simple brewed coffee. With shorter roasting times natural sugars are not caramelized within the coffee beans, leaving no bitter aftertaste. The flavor of white coffee is frequently described as nut like. White coffee grounds are more dense than other blends, making white coffee more concentrated, thus white coffee grounds have more caffeine that can be extracted in the final brew.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Awesome. I am looking forward to my own haters. Keep it SAHL. xoxo, Justine

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi Lo, my name is Troy and I'm one of the owner's of Hot Chick A Latte Drive Thru Coffee Shop on Colfax, here in Denver. Some customers have brought your blog to my attention.

    Thanks for taking the time to visit our store and commenting with positive and constructive feedback. I apologize that your coffee was just "ok". Since our opening, two weeks ago, we have switched our beans several times in search of the perfect blend. In doing so, we have chosen a Federal Trade Certified Organic (FTO) blend that is roasted locally. I'd like to invite you to come back by and try us out, on me. We've made many improvements since our opening week and strive to serve "a damn good cup of coffee"...with a smile and some theme day fun of course!

    For the record, I'm not "Anonymous" on your comments. However, as a Park Hill resident myself, I am excited to see the interest of people in our neighborhood and surrounding community! After watching many businesses fail in this location over the years, I'm glad for the opportunity to bring this A-Frame back to life. I assure you, as soon as the spring weather is a little more consistent, we will have the painting finished ;) You're right about it's current state, but good things are to come!

    Thanks again for your feedback and I hope to meet you next time you're in!

    Troy

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks Troy! Look forward to meeting you soon. Lorraine

    ReplyDelete
  14. Lo you're awesome and I loved your post..didn't think you were bashing at all!
    Anonymous you should get the stick out of your ass! You are exactly that person that every hates.

    ReplyDelete
  15. have any of you seen idiocracy? because anyone that thinks this is a good idea is clearly an idiot. and i am a straight man before anyone calls me gay or a dyke. people are so dumb.

    ReplyDelete

 
Real Time Web Analytics